Recently I've been in this feeling-down-all-thinking mode and I'm sick of feeling this way. Need to get out of it before I fall flatter than any roti pratas you can find on the streets.

Knowing myself, I tend to over think about how people thinks and react to my speech and actions. Thus, I end up restraining myself which causes more problems to arise. Had good talks with a few people whom I hold dear to about some issues and I guess they were really right. Friends who judge you based on your speech and actions are not good enough to be your friend because they cannot accept you for who you are. I guess all these bothered-by-how-people-think thinggy should come to an end.

With the recent sudden burst of things to handle, I've been feeling the stretch. You know, like those splits you tried to do in dance classes and its like $%^&*(*&^%$#@#$%^& painful? Yeah. That kind. And for one of the task, I felt so solely responsible for how others end up feeling in the process that I put so much burden on myself. Gotta learn that its a team effort at the end of the day and that those who helped really doesn't mind at the end of the day. Just that they do get tired here and there since its not the only thing that they will be busy with.

But in the midst of this period, I'm really thankful for all the people God has placed in my life. In church and outside church. The support, listening ears and encouragement I've received this few weeks has far surpassed what I've received in my past years of my life. It really reminds me of the eternal presence of God in my everyday life. Like how He is able to bring so many people to me when I'm feeling down. I guess God always uses people around me to speak to me. Sometimes, I get too sucked into whatever I'm doing that I don't calm myself down to hear God's still voice. And at the end of the day, God had to personally step up to me and talk to me through others. Thank God for His grace and reminder about the finished work of the Cross. It is indeed powerful and I do not have to feel negative about myself in all situations because I know He knows I can handle it.

Had a surprise call from an army friend the other day when I was in bunk. He was asking me if I was alright and stuff. So I kinda poured out all the things I'm going through and he just listened. At the end of the call, he offered to pray for me over the phone. I was so touched by the act from a brother in Christ. Its really a show of what the body of Christ really means. Regardless of which church you go to, so long you believe in the same Christ, we are all bounded together by the Spirit. Something he shared with me kept me thinking the rest of the week. He said "God already knows the plans ahead and that if He allows things to happen, He knows I can handle it". Well, its a fact but it can be so hard to follow it. Its like knowing there's a bridge ahead of you for you to cross, but because you can't see it, you doubt. Life is a journey full of faith. And faith is only possible through the daily renewed experience of the Cross. That, I'm still learning. But I believe that life ahead is full of excitement and many great things which I'm very looking forward to.

Gotta pick myself up and continue this journey. I've stopped on the road for far too long and nothing's gonna change if I stop at the same place. A new week's gonna be ahead and I believe that its gonna be better than before!